I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
