Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
