I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
