Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
