Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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