ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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