please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
