TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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