her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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