It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
