Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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