Can i not drive my cunt home
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
