there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Shame - the story of my life.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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