I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize