i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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