i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
