white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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