wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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