I love black thongs
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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