i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
