That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours