happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.