After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.