Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
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Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.