if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
