Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
