Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You took a bar mat shot.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
