i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
