what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
