I cannot find my penis.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i dont even know how to be here
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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