Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
