What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
