I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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