Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
