I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Im part way to drunk.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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