I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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