I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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