he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
