I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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