I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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