Tell her she can't have a vagina
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
