She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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