I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize