maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
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Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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