If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
