Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
