they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
