He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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