I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You are the jesus of drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize