I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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