i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
