Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
