this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
