4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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