My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize