It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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