I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Randomize
