He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Are my feet made of real feet?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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